


Enough

by Arlana



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Lots of missing pieces, M/M, Not Beta Read, Semi centric, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, you fill in the blanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlana/pseuds/Arlana
Summary: People do not get to choose who they fall in love with, let alone if they will be loved in return.
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu & Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjirou/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Unrequited Goshiki Tsutomu/Shirabu Kenjirou, Unrequited Semi Eita/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to give this a try since I've only ever written angst like twice in my life but I've been in an angsty mood recently. UshiSemi is such an interesting ship because there could be SO MUCH more angst in the tag but there isn't and I just think it's so funny since Semi's character basically is full of possible angst fuel with him being replaced and Ushjima basically admitting that he would have preferred Oikawa on the team.
> 
> Coincidentally UshiShira is lowkey a NOTP for me for no particular reason but also each make up half of two of my favourite ships so like double the angst I guess?
> 
> I banged this out in like 30 minutes so don't expect much.

It wasn't his fault.

Semi knows rationally that people don't get to choose who they fell in love with. It was something that no one could control, despite how much they may want to.

So why did it still hurt?

Why did he hope against all the forces of the universe that his feelings would be noticed? That perhaps he would be enough even when he knew he would never be. Because if he were honest and frank, he was not the one Ushijima wanted. In more ways than one.

He tries. He really does to be something worth noticing. He polishes his skills to stand out from the crowd, to be a star in his own right and shine on his own while simultaneously uplifting Ushijima. He still isn’t enough.

When Shirabu joins their team, his crush on Ushijima as evident and plain as day. Semi scoffs. Surely, he too had to know that winning their Ace's affection was an impossible feat. One he had tried and failed time and time again. It won't take long until the younger came to his senses and saw that.

Semi was wrong.

He pretends like he doesn't notice. The lingering glances and soft pats, the way Ushijima and Shirabu walked closer and closer as the seasons passed. Huddled together in the chilly winter months, lost in their own world of gentle whispers and brushing finger tips.

And when Tendou and Reon and Hayato look his way Semi smiles as best he can, despite the tightness in his chest and how he was biting his cheek so hard he could taste the iron. Though his friends may not have said anything their sympathetic eyes say more than Semi cared to hear.

People do not get to choose who they fall in love with, let alone if they will be loved in return. 

Perhaps he had been foolish to even think that they could have ever been.

When Goshiki joins their team in the Spring all bright eyed and boundless energy it is a welcome change of pace.

He is a third year now. A year older and wiser and stronger. But still not enough.

He gets benched in favor of Shirabu and it takes all he has not to break the moment coach announces the change. Familiar warm hands settle onto his back and he finds himself leaning into Tendou's side.

Goshiki is thrilled to make starting line-up and the first person he seeks is Shirabu. His little crush so painfully obvious and Semi desperately hopes that at least one of them is saved from the heartache.

They're all present when Ushijima and Shirabu make it official. Semi bites his tongue and offers his sincerest words of happiness to the two. Because Semi had always known it would not be him. What he lacked Shirabu possessed in abundance and, well, in all honesty they probably suited one another much better than Semi could have ever.

Goshiki smiles as big as ever, though not as bright and certainly less enthusiastic than usual as the rest of their friends shower the new couple with congratulatory sentiments. Semi doesn't miss the worried look Tendou sends his way when Ushijima isn't looking, the way Hayato reaches for his hand, or how Reon seems torn between him and Goshiki.

Wordlessly Semi nudges his kouhai, offering an understanding look as they slip away. Goshiki to his credit keeps it together until they're as far away from their friends as possible, clutching at his sleeve and allowing himself to be led.

“Semi-san…” Goshiki murmurs when they come to a stop at Semi's dorm door, his lips trembling, eyes turning glassy as crystalline drops collected in his eyes.

With a bittersweet smile Semi gathers the young first year into his arms, shushing him as he wiped away tears.

“I know Tsutomu.” He whispers, tightening his hold. Sincerely cursing any God that would hear him.

_I know._

**Author's Note:**

> Well now that that's over please come back later this week and next for actual happy and good content since I will have fics for Semi Eita Week and GoShira week lol.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to leave a kudo or comment! ♡ 
> 
> Find me on Twitter: [@Arlanaaaahhhh](https://twitter.com/arlanaaaahhhh)


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